Maggie, Author at Clifton, NJ therapist specializing in women brainspotting childhood trauma burnout

You’re Not as Good a Listener as You Think — and How to Listen Better

Most of us instinctively listen in a way that makes conflict worse, not better. We listen to respond. Think about it. Your partner is upset because you don’t help out enough with the kids on weekday mornings. You’re listening very closely, keeping tabs on what everything your partner is saying…and logging how you’ll respond. She’s totally twisting my words! Oh, that’s not how that happened at all. Come on, he knows that wasn’t what I meant. Well, I had a very good reason for doing what I did.

Does Rest Feel Out of Reach? Try the 52-17 Rule.

Even if you’re struggling to schedule a vacation or take a day off, you can get a lot of bang for your buck by taking just a few minutes of rest throughout the day. Our bodies are hardwired to work in short spurts, and it’s no coincidence that we naturally break long stretches into bite-sized pieces. Studies show that those short periods of rest are powerful, and those who take regular breaks are often more productive and mentally healthy than those who don’t.

When Talking Isn’t the Cure

Traditional talk therapy can be very helpful in a lot of ways. Often we feel better just getting things off our chest with a therapist, expressing things we’re afraid to express at work or home, or sharing secrets that have become a burden. Talking can help us gain insight, widen our perspective, and come to know ourselves better. However, not all mental health issues benefit from “the talking cure”.

Authenticity, Shame, and Truth

I don’t know why, but the subject of authenticity gets me all clammy. It feels so big and all-encompassing. Also, there’s the little matter of IT IS SCARY AS HELL. Because authenticity is nothing less than showing up fully yourself, and I can tell you right now that this idea perks up my perfectionist and my shame-monger in equal parts.